How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
