If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
