just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
