Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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