i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
