is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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