it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
