I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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