Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This baby is an asshole
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
