Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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