It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
