i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
porn star boner night. come get it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
