It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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