So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
