Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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