Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
