Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
