all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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