I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
