mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Let's get the cat blown out
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
