Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
