alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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