8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
