we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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