I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
