My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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