He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
