I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
