Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
