if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
