somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
