I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just found puke in my bra..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
