so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
