hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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