I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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