im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
