Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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