Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
