yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
