Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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