if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
