We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
