please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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