Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
