Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
