Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
