I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
