so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
