i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
