Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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