Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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