I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Congratulations! We have a period
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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