I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
