i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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