Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
