she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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